Another Cracker from Thailand...

Read recently on the highly entertaining Thai Visa...

Woman trashes husband's member

PETCHABOON: -- A woman in the northern province Phetchaboon was arrested last month for cutting off her husband’s penis and throwing it into a trash can at the local bus station.

Buariow Wannarat, 54, was caught at a police checkpoint while on a bus to Bangkok. Police escorted her back to Phetchaboon Town to point out the trash receptacle where she discarded her man’s member.

Meanwhile, her husband, 40-year-old Sawang Wannarat, was taken to Lom Sak Hospital, where he was last reported as being in a stable condition.

Mrs Buariow told police that she had been married for 21 years: when she was 33 and Mr Sawang was a sprightly 19.

Recently, however, Mr Sawang started to treat her very badly, drinking heavily and shouting at her in public, she said. There was also gossip going around town that he was seeing other women.

On September 14, Mrs Buariow was drinking beer with friends near her house when Mr Sawang walked up and began shouting at her that she was cheating on him.

He said he was going to leave her and made her prostrate herself at his feet.

Around 10am the next day, Mrs Buariow was still enraged by the loss of face. While out buying her husband’s breakfast, she stopped off at the pharmacy to get some sleeping pills.

She mixed some of the pills in Mr Sawang’s morning drink, gave it to him and waited for them to take effect.

While Mr Sawang was sound asleep, Mrs Buariow sliced off his penis and put it in a plastic bag. She then took a bus from their house in Lom Sak to Phetchaboon Town Bus Station, where she threw the organ in a trash can before boarding a bus to Bangkok.

She was stopped by police in Nong Phai District, which borders Muang District to the south.

After making Mrs Buariow tell them where she threw the penis, police sent the organ to Lom Sak Hospital so doctors could try and reattach it.

At the time of writing it was still unclear whether Mr Sawang would regain any use of his severed manhood.

Thai doctors are world-renowned for the expertise in reattaching severed penises.

Knowing this, some of those responsible for the cutting have taken extra precautions to make such surgery impossible. Severed members have been boiled, fed to ducks or even attached to hot air balloons in the past.

The Mighty Kruger – 17/08/10

Named after Paul Kruger, an old president of the Transvaal Republic, Kruger National Park is the largest game park on the African continent. Stretching 360 kilometres down from Zimbabwe and along a large part of the border with Mozambique, Kruger has been a haven for African wildlife for well over a hundred years, and is arguably the most famous game park in the world.

We have about two and a half days in Kruger, time to get our final fill of game parking before we head home. After our twelve hour marathon game drive in Hluhluwe, I have insisted that we do things a little differently this time. To avoid my brain turning completely to mulch we have agreed to drive until mid-afternoon, take a break and then go out again for an hour before sunset. We make these plans with such misguided optimism. For our three days in and around Kruger we are staying in three different places. On paper the two hundred kilometre journey between camps doesn't seem like much of a challenge. What we both failed to take into account was the fact that the average speed you travel is about thirty kilometres an hour. With stops. And lots of reversing for glimpses of imaginary animals. And lots of detours along dirt roads as Nick is truly convinced that just around each and every corner will be that big male lion asleep in the road that every person we know that has visited Kruger has pictures of.

For our first day in the park we were staying at Lataba Camp, which is about halfway up the park. In the days before coming to Kruger we had been advised by lots of locals about the best areas for spotting game. Everybody had their favourite and 'guaranteed' place for lions and leopards, and we tried to fit as many of these into our drive north through the park. The day started well with a rare glimpse of an African wild dog crossing the road in the distance. Sadly, it was all too brief and a bit far for me to really make out. After that disappeared we saw nothing living for at least an hour.

Kruger is the seventh game park we have visited and after all the hype and 'guarantees' our first day was bound to be a bit of a let down. The temperature rocketed and with the windows down, the air-con off and little air movement, we roasted in our little hot-box of a car. The blazing sun also meant that any animal with sense was hiding in the shade and therefore invisible. After hours of searching in ever increasing heat, and a few frustratingly near misses of lions and leopards, we realized we had covered only about a third of our distance and would not make it to the camp before the gates were locked if we carried on at that pace. We changed our route and joined the busier tarmac road that our local advisers had told us to avoid as much as possible. Surprisingly we saw far more animals from the busy roads than on the dirt roads through the more remote areas. A well hidden leopard is far more likely to be spotted when twenty cars go past it instead of one. With all those eyes looking somebody is bound to spot it. As much as we tried to avoid those busy roads, preferring to spot our own animals than rely on others, we did eventually admit that our best chance of seeing something is to just look for the collection of parked cars. The lazy man's safari.

When we eventually rolled into camp, tired, dusty and hungry, we quickly got our braai going for our much anticipated BBQ. Annoyingly, when we went to the kitchen to collect the tools, we found that our provided 'full kitchen' only actually had a sink in it. We then had to run around the camp looking for somewhere we could buy paper plates and plastic knives and forks. While we enjoyed our food we were joined by a large hyena who, drawn by the smell, then paced up and down ten feet away from us on the other side of the fence. 

 

The next day we were up at 5.30 am and joined a 'bush walk' that took us on a game tracking expedition into the park. We were told there was little chance of seeing predators, but we did come across some fresh leopard and lion prints. The walk was more to teach us how to spot the small signs that help you track the animals. We followed a bull elephant quite closely for a while and then visited a pool where we were peered at by a semi-submerged hippo.

Following the bush walk we made our long, but slightly less baking way south to Skukuza Camp, one of the biggest camps in the park. The day was a lot more successful for spotting animals, we saw all of the big five in the space of a few hours. The day was long again, but we only have two more nights until we go home so the excitement is keeping any boredom in check. In about three days I will be home. I feel like a kid at Christmas.

Back to beautiful S. A

14/08/10

Sitting outside on a veranda with a private garden in the corner of a beautiful sprawling Italian style villa farmhouse. The sun is going down, the crickets are singing, and there's a lovely smokey smell coming from our freshly lit braai. Being back in South Africa is such a relief after the frustrations of Mozambique. The weather failed to changed and we didn't have the time or the patience to wait it out. It became depressing sitting around and not being able to go out. There was so much to see out there, the ocean was just too rough to go out.

After the slightly terrifying journey up to Tofu with our two French friends, who became our very entertaining campsite neighbours for 4 nights, we decided to catch the organized tourist shuttle that runs between Fatima's Tofu and Fatima's Maputo. We paid a lot more to go on this bus than the local chappas, but thought it worth it to have a little more space and comfort for the 8 hour journey. We had to get up at 3.30 am to catch the 4.00 bus. There were so many people waiting I thought they must have overbooked. Obviously not as everyone was squeezed on, some riding on top of the huge amount of tourist luggage. They had a person on every seat and each person had a big bag. Picture this and you'll work out this is not going to leave much space or comfort options. It was so disheartening to see how money grabbing the backpackers could be. Sadly it seems to be standard in Mozambique.

After our experience of Maputo Backpackers we decided to splash out and stay in the Ibis. At the backpackers we paid $40 for the both of us to stay in a dorm. At the Ibis we paid $65 for a double with bathroom and breakfast. Sounds like a deal right? Our room was on the eighth floor and soon after we arrived the lifts stopped working. Our key card wouldn't work and it took 4 requests to get a replacement. Our room was set up as a single. When we went down for breakfast the only thing there was cereal, without milk, ham and cheese, without bread, fruit juice but no coffee. We were then told to hike back up to our room and get our bags as no one was willing to go and get them without the lifts working. The ultimate annoyance was that the lift engineers were all taking their time waiting for the breakfast as it slowly emerged from the kitchen. Excluding the hotel, the food in Mozambique is amazing. It's just finding a stress free sleep that seems impossible.

…..............

Just crossing the border into S.A, what a relief. When we go back to Mozambique, as we must, we'll need to be a little more prepared for all the challenges.

Back in S.A we picked up a car from Nelspruit and drove through the Drakkensberg Escarpment to Graskop. We stayed in a beautiful backpackers called Valley View. This welcoming place is run by Andrew, a young guy with such constant frenetic energy he appears to bounce like Tigger. At Valley View we got a unit with bathroom, kitchen, double room, bunk bed room and our own sun deck all for the same price of the dorm in Maputo... not to keep bringing it up or anything. From Graskop we went on a day trip up to God's Window, Blyde River Canyon and the Three Rondhavels.

Tofu

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12/08/10

Tofu is as wild and windswept at everywhere else along this coastline. It is however unlike the other places we've been in that it is as yet not completely taken over by South Africans and their developments. It has a more African vibe, and the rustic huts perch on top of big sand dunes. Tofu is becoming a bit of a mecca for divers. The nutrient rich waters attract whale sharks and mantas nearly all year round, and humpbacks hammerheads at other times. Listening to people talk about their dives the morning we arrived, and you hear about 360 degrees humpback whales breaching around the boat, manta and whale shark feeding frenzies on the way back from dives, giant mantas on most dives, hammerheads etc. It isn't the real world out there, that just doesn't happen.

We had chance to do one afternoon dive before the weather turned and all boats were cancelled. As standard out here, even though we saw some cool stuff, I didn't enjoy the dive. The boat ride terrified me as usual and made me sick, our negative entry was choas, with my fin coming off and I was left bobbing on the surface unable to find it in the increasing swell. I felt dishearteningly like an open water student all over again. When I finally managed to sort myself out and get under the water my dodgy rental mask instantly fogged up and I couldn't clear it no matter how much water I swilled in it. It was at this point that I decided I better quit while I was ahead, and make this my last dive of the trip. Diving in conditions like these is beginning to make me hate diving.

Rip off Maputo

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11/08/10

Our easy option for leaving Ponta didn't quite work out. With the excessive amount of luggage (not just ours), and the fact that the family we were supposed to be squeezing in with were actually all adults, there was no way we were ever going to fit in the van. Instead we dropped back at the border to get one of the more frequent local chappas. Having wasted an extra day trying to avoid it, we were back at square on.

With the help of someone with better Portuguese skills than us, we secured the back row of the minibus. I was really grateful for this forward planning as when it came to boarding the bus, it was really little more than a scrum. With so many bags there's no way you can just push your way on like everyone else, and you would just find yourself at the back of the line for every bus. The cramped bus filled with 22 people, only 2 of them kids and many of them with big bags that then had to be balanced on laps or wedged in any available space. These then continually fell on people throughout the journey. Our bags filled more than half the back seat. Once you are wedged in you can't move an inch. Each part of your body slowly goes into cramp and there's no way of stopping it. Regardless of this people take it all in good humour, are friendly and considerate of each other. The guy in front of us made himself extra uncomfortable by holding some strangers child, twisting himself to stop the sleeping kid's head from bouncing on the window, he then used his arm to prop up another guy. People who have little experience of the many small luxuries in life, the things that we take for granted, have developed a nature that is often overly generous.

When we arrived in Maputo we had to take a ferry across a bay to get to the centre of the city. There we took a taxi to the backpackers. The taxi that was willing to take us without ripping us off was a rust bucket with a windscreen that was a jigsaw puzzle of cracks. We had to be push started to get us going, then trundled across the city in 5^th gear at 20 km an hour. Accommodation in Maputo is limited, and also at the time very full. Maputo Backpackers was our third choice, and there we were given the last 2 beds in a 10 bed dorm for $40. the dorm was so small that you had to turn sideways to fit between some of the bunks. There was no water half the time, the kitchen was chaos, and the lounge was taken over by the staff's children who sat around without shorts or underwear watching cartoons full blast. Take me back to Thailand, for the price of one bed in this place we would have got a night in a nice apartment in Bangkok.

The only good thing about Maputo Backpackers was the fact that we met lots of really nice people who also had the misfortune to be staying there, 2 of whom offered to drive us the 8 hours up the coast to Tofu. The other option was pay $30 to get a bus leaving at 5.00 am in the morning. The guys who drove us were really nice, both from Paris. The drive was a hair-raising one though, and it was a miracle that we arrived with only one speeding ticket and a dead chicken.

Homesick

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10/08/10

Our plan to stay in Ponta for 2 nights changed when we saw the campsite. It was as basic as the one in Sodwana, but we were paying double for it. The whole town was rapidly filling up with 4x4's full of large loud S.A's drinking, playing loud music and towing their boats or jet-skis around. It was the long weekend in S.A and the campsite was becoming full with teams of guys who constructed house size tents. It seems that being a S.A white male means at some point in your life you need to take a part share in a tent so huge and complex that it probably contains a separate dressing room with wardrobes. Camping like this appears to involve a disproportionate amount of standing around and drinking beer. These guys weren't as bad as the ones who thought it'd be fun to race jet-skis up and down the bay at 3.00 in the morning.

The only way in and out of Ponta without your own transport is on a local chappa. These dilapidated minibuses leave from the market as and when they get full. In typical African style 'full' means rammed. We were completely daunted by the task of getting our 70kg of luggage a kilometre along a deep sand track and somehow onto one of these buses that seem to swarm with over eager locals well practised in the art of elbowing their way to the front. The thought of this soon made us change our plans again. Instead we arrange a much more pricey lift with the colourful guy who gave us a lift from the border. He said it'd be no problem for us to squeeze in with some other guests for the 2 hour journey to Maputo, the capital city.

While in Ponta we had our biggest change of plans yet, and decided we wanted to fly home 3 weeks early. Trying to arrange this was impossible. No internet in the whole place and 3 phones from 3 countries failed to get us in contact with the outside world. This only added to my frustration and depression. In 8 years of travelling I’ve never been homesick. Now, when all the amazing sights are starting to blend into one and go unappreciated , all I want to do is go home early. Feel quite pathetic, but now for the first time I can empathise with those I’ve previously mocked for feeling homesick on holiday.

Mozambique...

09/08/10

Another busy few days where plans have changed too many times to count. First we were leaving the car in Durban and catching the bus to Sodwana via Nature's Way for a week, this we changed to Hluhluwe instead, then we changed back to going to Sodwana as well, then we added in a stop in St Lucia before heading north to Kosi Bay, just south of the Mozambican border. On the way to Kosi Bay we changed our minds again and went straight across the border 3 days early. We have edited and discarded plans written on scraps of paper and in the back of books all over the place.

Our last minute addition of St Lucia into the plan was a rewarding bonus. St Lucia is a protected wetland area on the east coast and is described as 'the place where hippos roam the streets at night and 90% of S.A's crocodiles live', many of them at the bottoms of people's gardens. Expecting a strip of true African wilderness, I was shocked by what a quaint little town it was. It is like an English seaside town only warmer and without the rain. After the last few dust bowl towns we've stayed in it was heaven. Nice restaurants, shops, cafés and quiet bungalow lined manicured streets. Having had the absolute basics of accommodation at the campsite for the previous week we had decided to treat ourselves to a bed in a dorm. Yet again we got lucky and were given a private room in an apartment with a lounge, kitchen and a movie channel. St Lucia is a lovely place to slow down, chill out, and enjoy some peace and quiet.

From St Lucia, with a 200 km detour to drop of the car, we were driven to the Mozambican border by a local guy who arranges twice weekly shuttles to link up with a backpackers just across the border in Ponta D óro. It was while talking to him that our plans changed landing us across the border 2 days early. The journey was pretty tame for what I have come to expect from Africa. Apparently the week before he'd been driving along with six guests when the car lurched and made a load noise and he glanced out his window to see his rear tire spinning of past him down the centre of the road. He said it was like watching something in a cartoon.

Once across the border the 20 minute drive to Ponta was more typical of what we have come to expect. We were picked up by a very friendly and very colourful local. Over the next few days whenever we saw him he was sporting a variety of day glow outfits with matching socks, hats, shoes and even watches. He drove us along tracks in deep sand up and over sand dunes at racing speed. In a country that was damaged by a terrible civil war in recent history, and still has many undiscovered land mines, people seem to drive wherever they want, and new tracks are being made all the time.

You call that warm...

03/08/10

Really disappointed to learn that 'warm' water is actually only 23 degrees, and that the 'nice tropical seas' are actually rougher and more uninviting than anywhere else we've been. You get up at 6.30am to go to the dive shop, climb into a cold damp wetsuit and catch a ride on a tractor down to a cold and windswept beach. There we had to make a few attempts to beat the waves on the way out and then crash our way through huge swell for the next 15 minutes. At the dive site we were greeted by a pod of dolphins that we would have been able to swim with if someone's o-ring hadn't burst the minute we were ready for the off. When we did get in, the water felt warmer, but still not warm enough. By the end of the second dive I was so cold I was clock watching every minute. It was at this point I decided we don't need to do this any more. We are not seeing anything new and I’m paying a fortune to sit in the water and desperately wait for time to pass. It I was watching schools of hammerheads I’d be ok with the cold, but I fail to get excited over a lion fish when I’m developing hypothermia. Call me dramatic but I’m a wimp. On the way back from the dive the skipper grounded the boat on a sandbar and we nearly got turned over when we were hit side on by a wave. I did not take up diving as an extreme sport, I’m done.

Talking of extreme sports, we met a guy yesterday who was on route to northern Kenya. What's special about his trip, is the fact that he is planning to make the 4000 km journey by kite surfing. He has minimal belongings in his waterproof backpack, he'll travel as far as the wind will take him each day and he'll sleep where he can. For water he's hoping to pass rivers or streams every few days. For food he'll fish, get fruit, and barter with locals. Mozambique has a wild and largely untouched coast. It is winter and there is little fruit, and he's going through some of the most shark infested waters in the world. The Mozambique channel has the highest concentration of bull sharks known anywhere. The aim of his journey is to highlight to local people and corporations the potential use of wind power along the East African coast. If you are curious about his journey he has a blog linked to www.surfstore.co.za. It is such an incredible undertaking, he is travelling alone and has no support of any time.

Sodwana Bay

02/08/10 

After the never ending game drive we yet again extended the car and drove to Sodwana Bay. This is the site of the southern most coral reef in the world and is supposedly the most popular dive location in S.A. It's in the guide books as 'warm tropical seas filled with colourful fish', and yet again our expectations were raised. Locals we'd met on a previous dive had recommended that we go to Coral Divers. This is a large dive shop based right in the centre of Sodwana Bay National Park. As with so many other places of beauty here it has been made into a national park and you have to pay to get anywhere near it. Every time you want to go to the beach you pay. We had been told by the dive shop that we couldn't camp there but they are based in the middle of a 400 plot campsite in the park. For $15 a night we get our very own secluded tree ringed private patch of sand. Not exactly budget, but cheap by local standards. After paying for 3 nights we were disappointed to learn that unlike backpacker campsites there are no cooking facilities, not only that, but there weren't even any braai spots. We had no way of making a meal for 3 days, and we also had nowhere to sit. Our first day we spent most of the afternoon sitting in the only comfy seats we had access to; those in the car. We sat there planning the next part of the trip while drinking wine out of an old ice cream pot and the cut off bottom of a bottle. We went to the dive shop to check about diving and asked if we could borrow the kitchen, they responded “only for residents”. We got the same response in regard to putting a small tuperware in their fridge, paying for laundry, and having a drink by the pool. At $20 a night per person for a tent like ours, I definitely can't afford to be a resident. Coral Divers is huge. They have 11 boats and each boat takes out about 10 people. They have 160 divers booked in for the long weekend starting in a few days. They must be raking it in. We have taken it upon ourselves to enjoy the 'only for residents' sun loungers, coffee and TV room.      

Death by safari

31/07/10

The only good thing to take a picture of at Nature's Way

Five weeks to go and counting... We have been away too long and miss having a home. The camping is getting harder and the lodges and backpackers more uncomfortable. Having traveled north from Durban, extending the car because the thought of public transport and our 70 kilos of luggage has become too scary to contemplate, we went to Nature's Way in Mtunzi. This backpackers and campsite was somewhere we thought would be perfect place to kill time and catch up with all the important stuff, namely washing our mound of stinky clothes and taking the time to enjoy the surroundings. We chose Nature's Way because it backed onto a natyre reserve, was 'chilled' and had 2 'tame' zebras that hang out around the camp fire each night. We arrived to find the camping area was in an empty field with falling down lights, broken showers, sinks full of trash and leaves, and no water. The main area had a filthy kitchen and blasted eighties hits at full volume. We went out for dinner and left the next morning.

From there we found ourselves with extra days, and we made a bonus trip to Hluhluwe/Imfolozi, the oldest game park in South Africa. We stayed at Insinkwe Backpackers where we were charged $30 a night for a piece of grass to put our tent on. For that price we then had to try 3 showers before finding hot water, hunt for a toilet with toilet paper, and our coffees from the machine were full of ants. It was raining, they were very few dry places to sit and it was quite a miserable first night. $30, what were they thinking??

One of the eighteen rhinos

We got up at 5.15 to make it to the park gates for opening at 6 am. Within 15 minutes we'd seen four hyenas, zebra, baby giraffes and two rhinos with calves. It gave us high expectations for the day. Unlike Nick, who can drive all day, I have a 3-4 hour limit on my game drive attention span. My eyes are no good for spotting. First I get frustrated from all the unproductive staring, then I get queezy, then slightly hypnotized from watching the landscape blur and I fall asleep. Nick is happy to look for stuff all day. I'm willing to compromise on about 7-8 hours to keep him happy. We spent nearly 12 hours in that park. It was painful. However, I do appreciate that it was our longevity that helped us to see 18 rhinos along with all the more common stuff. The other thing that kept me from completely losing it was that for the first time in four years I got to drive a car again. It's a miracle I managed this without mishap as the day before I'd been truly blond and forgotten which the clutch and break were.

Beach slamming

29/07/10

As well as enjoying a few days of doing nothing at the Ku-Boboyi Lodge, we have also managed to get off our butts and do a few more interesting things. We went diving twice and took a horse ride through a nature reserve where we rode past zebras and wildebeest. As for the diving, I was pretty unsure as to whether I'd actually go through with it. It is so far from my comfort zone, and I'm a wuss. The ocean is 10 degrees colder than I'm used to, the currents are ripping, and the seas are usually rough. All in all it's far more challenging diving than I'm used to. It was only the lifting of the head cold and relative calm of the ocean for a day or so that made me try. The first place we went to was Protea Banks. This is a sight that many locals won't dive due the dangerous currents. We were lucky and had very little. The shallowest part of the site is 34 metres. You go down, stay about 15 minutes, then take about 30 minutes coming up slowly and hanging around in the blue. The water was shockingly cold and when I rolled in I hyperventilated so much I couldn't get under the water. I was left bobbing around on the surface alone for a few minutes trying to catch my breath. It took me about 10 minutes once underwater to calm down enough to look around. We had about 10 ragged tooth sharks swimming around us and were then joined by 4 Zambezi bull sharks. These supposedly aggressive sharks were actually quite shy. It was the raggys and their spikey teeth bursting out of their mouths swimming head on at us before swerving away at the last minutes, that caused us a little more worry.

It was a short dive and after 20 minutes of hanging around in the blue and rising up and down in the swell, I was more than ready to get back on the boat. It took all my concentration not to throw up all the speedy but rough ride in. We were given life vests just before we reached the surf break, the owner of the dive shop then took over driving the boat and told us to hold on as he wasn't going to stop until he hit the beach. I didn't take him to mean this literally, and was convinced right up until the last minute that he would ease off the gas slightly, instead he slammed us full throttle into the sand. It was the most violent stopping of a boat I've ever felt or witnessed.

Our next dive was at Aliwel Shoal, one of the best dive sites in the world. I'd already decided I was going to skip this one as I'd been making myself queezy just at the thought of the boat ride. On the day we woke up and it was as flat as it gets in South Africa so I had no excuse. Sadly it was just as cold. You know it's cold when you get a collective curse when everyone surfaces from the back roll entry. The dive still didn't provide the wow factor we've been waiting for, but it did have more inquisitive raggy tooth sharks, and 2-3 black tip reef shark circling us while we ascended. We finished the dive trip with what I've come to assume is the standard South African way to stop the boat, by slamming full pelt into the beach.

Chilling out

28/07/10

The flu took forever to shift and was the replaced by a stomach bug. Along with a few other minor frustrations and it's enough to make me have the odd occasion when I just wish I was back at home. Being sick for a while, living in a tent, moving all the time, and having to deal with the immense frustration of having to locate items of clothes in a rucksack (anything you need is always at the bottom), is all starting to wear a little thin.

From Warner Beach we drove to Umtentweni, just north of Port Shepstone. We stayed at The Spot Backpackers, a place with a great location right on the beach, but sheltered and warm. It's owned by a cool surfing guy. You can just grab a board and go have a try. I got as far as sticking my feet in, but it's about 20 degrees, so there's no temptation for swimming. Apart from a shortage of comfy places to lounge (you appreciate these things when you don't have a bed to sit on), The Spot was really nice. We were going to spend two nights there but it was the weekend and the place got invaded by two South African families and their five kids. They took over the whole place. Kids shouting and running around, and oblivious parents having high decibel conversations across a table until late. The fathers were up playing pool and table tennis at 7.00 am. We apologized to the understanding owner, packed up and left a day early.

In Leisure Bay we stayed at a fantastic place called Ku-Boboyi Lodge. Still not worked out how to pronounce the name and daren't ask the owner who's French and managed to make the name 'Eric' sound unrecognizable the first time I asked. He has turned his home into a spectacular guesthouse, perched high on a hill overlooking the ocean, it's a beautiful place with great African decor and vibe. You can sit on the veranda or in the pool and watch whales and dolphins go by. Eric is a chef by profession and for under £10 he'll cook you a 'surprise' meal that is 4 courses of fine dining. He is a real character and our stay there was amazing. As well as three dogs, he has a tame chicken. It lives in the house, follows you around, lays eggs in random places, and sits perched on a chair at the head of the table during dinner. It was standing in the corridor staring at me when I came out of the shower, a surprisingly unnerving experience.
Sadly I don't really have any pictures from this part of the trip.

The Sunny Side

26/07/10

We have left Cape Town and flown to Durban. Durban is the sunny city, and hope to a large population of South African Indians. The streets have the same busy feel as the Indian area in Thailand. People have market stalls spilling out into the street and you never know who's got right of way on the road as people are walking everywhere with such force and conviction regardless of the oncoming traffic. We are in Durban to search for sardines. Now is Sardine Run time and they have a hotline for you to phone and get the latest updates as to where the sardines have been netted. We stopped at one beach because we saw a cars parked all over the place; double parked on the road, on grass verges, blocking others in in carparks. On the beach there were a hundred people or more crowded together in the shallow water, and more watching from further back on the beach. A net with thousands of sardines had been pulled into the shallows and fishermen were desperately trying to get them out of the net and into crates as fast as they could. The reason for the haste became obvious when I saw that all the people around the net weren't just spectators, they were there to grab any sardine they could get their hands on. They had buckets, shopping baskets, bags, strips of plastic, even handkerchiefs to wrap their loot. People weren't just grabbing the sardines dropped by the fishermen, they were trying to untie parts of the net, even slicing it open in parts. The crowd were 90% Indian, some black Africans, and a few whites. While I have no problem with the barefoot guy in ripped clothes and dirt all over him, trying to grab a good feed for the day. I do however, have a huge problem with BMW driving, gold laden, suit/sari wearing people, celebrating stealing bags full of sardines. I’m sure they all have businesses of their own and would feel quite put out if the fishermen walked in and helped themselves to their stock. The fishermen were working as hard at keeping the people away from the nets as they were at getting the fish into the crates. At one point the man in charge started hurling abuse and throwing sardines as hard as he could at people. This has become known as 'Sardine Fever', and is now a tradition that is accepted with remarkably good humour. Personally it all made me a little mad.

Now that we're on the warmer South Coast we're back in the tent. In Durban we stayed about 30km south at Blue Sky Mining at Warner Beach. Perched high up on a hill with rooms, kitchens and sitting areas spread over 4 houses, it's a spacious and sunny place to stay. We had planned on staying there for about a week, but while it's comfy and quiet, it's too far from the beach.

Back in the big city

25/07/10

Excuse the tardiness, I’ve had flu. From the wonderful wine lands we drove to Cape Town. There we stayed in an apartment we booked back in the days when we thought our budget would last a lot longer. A bright and airy studio apartment about 200m from the football stadium at Green Point. Can't imagine what they charged for this during the world cup.

We went back to Cape Town to do all the things we'd missed out on doing when we arrived late in April thanks to the volcanic ash cloud; diving with seals, Robin Island, climbing Table Mountain, and driving to the Cape of Good Hope. As for achieving all this... we realized a long time ago that we weren't going to be diving with seals in water that cold, the Antarctic/Atlantic currents sweep up the coast making it freezing all year round. We came close to going to Robin Island, and are both aware that is sacrilegious when visiting Cape Town, as the informative tour tells you loads of really important stuff about the history of the country, but on bright sunny days history is never going to win over trips to the beach. Climbing Table Mountain seemed like too much effort for Nick who is recovering from a headcold, and me who was just getting one. Instead we had a long lazy picnic on the slopes of the mountain at the Kirstenbosh botanical Gardens. The one thing we did manage to achieve was going to Cape Point and the Cape of Good Hope. Clear blue skies and flat ocean made it a great day out. After doing the tourist parts, overrun by South African school groups and a UK rugby school tour, we found quieter areas and got to see whales playing in the surf just off the beach.

 

Whales and wine

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19/07/10

From Little Brak we drove to Hermanus via cape Agulus. The additional 200 km drive to visit the southern most tip of Africa was worth it for little other reason than being able to say we've done it. It is a bleak windswept point on the coast that is battered by waves. This point is the meeting place of the Indian and Atlantic oceans, and the place where you supposedly see the two great currents collide. All you actually see is a churning mass of turbulent water.

At Hermanus the weather was greyer and colder. Hermanus is a small town that has become very popular with tourists due to the southern right whales that collect in the bay from June to September. It is advertised as the best land based whale watching in the world, with whales sometimes coming right up to the low rocky shore jutting out into the bay. Due to all the tourism, Hermanus is a reasonably expensive town. We were lucky enough to find a small add for a granny flat in a local magazine. For the same price as a double without a bathroom in the local backpackers, we got a one bed cottage with kitchen. The owners were as friendly and as generous as everyone else seems to be in South Africa, and gave us a book on the history of the area when we were leaving. Sadly the whales were not as prolific as we had been led to hope, but we did get to see a few groups further out.
 

 

From Hermanus we drove to Stellenbosh, South Africa’s wine capital. Stellenbosh is only an hour from Cape Town and is now a huge university town. It's popular with both locals and tourist alike who go there to enjoy some of the 158 vineyards and wineries. It is an amazing place, miles of green vineyards and beautiful white buildings set against a backdrop of dramatic mountains.

We stayed in a draughty, noisy, overpriced backpackers. Thanks to this we spent a lot more money than planned. We ate out a lot just to avoid having to go into the dirty ill equipped kitchen. While the accommodation was disappointing, the wine was not. The first evening we drove to Franchoek and visited two vineyards; Alue Blue and Delaire. Delaire is owned and has been recently remodelled by an English diamond tycoon who apparently has the largest private art collection in the world. Not sure how true that is, but the $1000 a night lodge and vineyard is definitely amongst the finest in the world.

The next day we were taken to six vineyards with the 'Vine Hopper', a minibus that you hop on and off as you choose. We went to Bergkelder, Beyerskloof, Simonsig, Delvera and Delheim. We only had lunch at one of the farms and were too drunk to visit the sixth. It was a long day and we really appreciated the beer with dinner. We'll be having a break from wine for a while I think!
 

A bit of a highlight

18/07/10

Busy, busy, week. We spent last weekend at Addo Elephant Park. While we were there we had 2 nights of semi luxury. Very very cold luxury with the toilet block 50 metres away, but luxury by our standards any way. The weather was terrible. First night cold winds froze us while we determinedly went ahead with our planned braai. It took us 2 hours to get it hot enough to cook anything on. In that time our bbq area got raided by a gennet. Nick had spotted the small wild cat in the bushes behind the braai and went in to get his camera. While he was taking pics of it, amazed that it would come so close, he noticed it was eating some meat. It was only after a few minutes that it clicked that this wasn't just some meat luckily left over from some previous visitors, it was in fact one of our own ostrich burgers. I failed to see the funny side of this. I suppose that's what happens when you leave a bbq unattended in a game park. Shame it wasn't a lion.

Due to the weather, Addo was a bit of a disappointment. Grey skies, cold wind and on and off heavy rain. The animals were hiding and the ones we did see were wet and miserable. We did get a few great elephant encounters, with bull elephants coming really close to the car. There were a couple of scary occasions where they appeared suddenly out of the bush next to you and you got a window full of tusk and huge mass bearing down on you.

After Addo we drove down to Port Elizabeth to visit friends of Nick's family. We got to stay in a warm house with TV, internet, a bathroom right next to our room, and lovely generous hosts Brian and Lucy. They took us out to a restaurant and we had our fill of South Africa’s finest steak. It was a great break from guesthouses and backpackers.

From PE we set off on our big driving day to get us half way back to Cape Town, stopping in the coastal town of Hermanus. As well as a lot of miles, we'd planned to stop and see quite a few places. First we went to Jeffrey's Bay to watch surfers at Supertubes break. It's here that they have the annual Billabong World Tour competition, which was starting in a few days. Guys were setting up stages and film crews were out in boats catching surfers as they practised. It was the first sunny day in a while and there were lots of people watching. As well as getting to see the surfers we had the added bonus of a couple of southern right whales playing not too far behind the break.

From 'J'Bay', we drove on to Bloukrans, site of the world's highest bungy jump. We had stopped both here and Jeffrey's Bay on our way down the coast a few days before, but the weather had stopped all activities. Today we got to see a regular rotation of people throwing themselves off the platform on the underside of the Bloukrans bridge. The bridge spans a deep gouge and the 216 metre bungy drop doesn't go anywhere near to the bottom. The third bounce of a bungy jump here is the height of the majority of other bungy jumps around the world. I’d like to say I was tempted, but the 500 metre cable bridge walk out to the platform would have been more than I could have handled. Nick had done it 10 years ago and couldn't be tempted to do it again. We were happy watching the live feed on TV in the bar, and eating lunch to the sound of distant screams.

After lunch we drove to Knysna where we stopped at a wolf sanctuary. Wolves have been one of my favourite animals for years, and although we visited a sanctuary in Canada, I’ve never had the chance to get close to them. We took a wolf tour and got to play with 2 hybrid wolves before being taken into a large enclosure with a pack of about 10 wolves. The pack was wild, but 2 of the wolves had been hand reared. It was amazing to sit amongst the wolves. Some were friendly, but some were very wary and you're constantly aware of them stalking you from behind, staring at you with deep orange or slate eyes through the trees. Like the cheetahs in Namibia, you can tell the tame wolves from the wild ones just by looking at their eyes.

Having had such a good day, we kept expecting for things to go wrong. We stopped at a mall, and amongst other things we bought a bag of fudge from a stall. After realizing she' short changed us by about 50 pence, the woman was so embarrassed she gave us an extra bag for free. Things like that never happen. To top this, we arrived at The Little Brak Beach House for our first night in a dorm, and the lovely lady owner gave us a free upgrade to an en-suite double with cable TV. The perfect end to an amazing day.

I take it all back...

10/07/10

Beds are completely underrated. We take for granted the warm cushioning they provide. My new idea for camping is this... buy a truck, fill it with mattresses, get a big tent, then find a campsite you like and don't move for a week. As I sat writing praises about camping 3 days ago, little did I know that at that very moment my air mattress was leaking through a very small hole. We noticed early enough in the day to go out and get a puncture repair kit and do a double layer fix. This lasted for about an hour in the night, then it was just me and the floor. It was a long cold night. The next night the backpackers lent me a single mattress that we squeezed in the tent. Nick then got bed envy and complained it wasn't fair as he didn't have one. I was quick to point out that if he'd done the gallant thing I’d expected, and offered to take the damaged mattress the night before, then he'd have the extra comfort the next night. It was heaven to lie on that old battered mattress. During the night the wind changed. Our tent was nearly torn apart. The only thing keeping it down was us. Every time the wind gusted we'd get hit in the head by the sides of the tent. 2 long sleepless uncomfortable nights and the reality of camping has kicked in.

We are now staying at Addo Elephant Park and we're in a whole different breed of tent. This one has two wooden beds, bedside tables, lights, a fan, a radiator, and a fridge. There is a big private dining deck outside with our own braai and a view over a waterhole. It would take a hurricane to shift this thing.

Addo is a small game park that used to be mainly elephants, but now has the big 5. It's nice for us to be able to drive ourselves around the park. The roads are good and surprisingly we're not the only people in ancient VWs. It is a little bit daunting to be without a guide when bull elephants walk right at the car, but it's a hell of a lot cheaper. We've been reduced to doing all sorts of things to try and save money. We've only eaten out twice in the last month and I’m get back neglected cooking skills. As I’ve said before, Asia really spoilt us. Instead of meals out all the time, now we treat ourselves with barbecued ostrich burgers and Kudu sausages.

Some of the wildlife we saw when we stopped at an animal sanctury

We've also been doing walks every other day which apart from the odd park fee, are free. South African walks are not to be embarked upon lightly. If the guide book says it's a 3 hour walk then it's probably 4. A 'short steep climb' actually means a lung tearing 2 kilometre scramble straight up sliding gravel tracks. We went along a coastal track the other day and nearly turned back thinking we'd gotten lost and it was impassable. We had to scramble/rock climb our way along 50 metres of exposed cliff face that was getting bashed by typically violent sea. You find yourself looking at the map and going 'that can't be right'. Then you see some South Africa family with 2 under fives happily strolling along further up the track. They will walk/swim/drive in any terrain or condition.

The next phase

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07/07/10

We have left the creature comforts of Kagga Kamma behind. Gone is the fire, kitchen, warm comfortable bed. Gone is a roof in fact. We are now the proud owners of a small lightweight 4 man tent and two thin air mattresses. I have never seen myself as a camper, but need must. To be fair we've not exactly been roughing it. Originally we had planned to camp every 4^th day. We then changed this to every 3^rd day when we first started burning through cash, we have camped 5 out of the last 6 days. The reason for our new found fondness of sleeping 'under canvas', is not just as a way of saving money, it only cuts cost by about 30%, but because we have been staying at some amazingly warm and homely backpackers. Places here seem to have backpacking down to a more refined art than many other places I’ve been. As I’ve mentioned with Karma Backpackers, many of the places are owner run, and you are welcomed with open arms into people's homes. The hosts are always interesting and have tons of stories and info they love sharing with you. We stopped at Robertson Backpackers for 2 days, where a roaring fire in the Moroccan room, a TV room, reading room, warm kitchen and small sheltered garden, all helped take our minds off 2 degrees C nights and mad camping seem easy. The owner was so concerned about the temperature drop one night she told us to sneak in and camp out on the sofa after everyone had gone to bed. We bought extra blankets and survived outside. 
 

We are now at a backpackers outside Plettenberg Bay. There are spectacular views across a forest and to the mountains from the garden where we've pitched our tent. There is a big log cabin lounge with fireplace and TV for the football. Earlier I sat next to the tent with the laptop on WiFi while the household pet horse grazed next to me. It has free reign of all the gardens and never wanders far. We found him halfway up the steps to reception earlier.

We have set ourselves the challenge of camping whenever we can. Last night the weather defeated us. We stopped in Buffalo Bay, a place where Nick went 10 years ago. He went for 2 days and ended up staying a month. We arrived there with 50 km winds, sheeting rain and huge crashing waves sending spray up onto the dunes where we were supposed to be camping. We paid $40 to stay in a draughty double without bathroom. Cold we can cope with, gales we can not, our flimsy cheap tent would have been ripped out from under us.

Buffalo bay is a wild windswept expanse of beach with only a small community perched on a rocky outcrop. Huge breakers crash on rocks sticking out of the sea, spewing foam into the air. In the wind and rain it's as wild as it gets, next morning in the warm sun and gentle breeze it was glorious. We went out for a walk along the beach. We were joined by the 3 Jack Russells from the backpackers.

Travelling the Garden route has been a bit of an eye opener for me. It has made me realize just how good life can be if you pick the right place to live. People have it good here. By UK standards the property is cheap; a three bed house with ocean views going from £130,000. all coastal towns are filled with beautiful unique beach villas that locals use as holiday homes. There is a great café culture and there are farmers markets and delis everywhere. There is always space and fresh air, and you are never far from a national park with hikes and adventure activities or a picnic braai site on the beach. They have an endless selection of restaurants and the food and wine culture is great. Everywhere we stop we meet locals out enjoying their country. South Africa has the longest wine route in the world. There is cheap quality wine available everywhere you go, and there is little snobbery about wine. In Robertson we found a hike that finished in a winery. You sweat it out with a demanding 9km hike before plonking down in the beautiful Van Loveren vineyard garden café, and they bring you a whole range of wines to try for free. Unlike most wineries it's a casual and informal affair where even we didn't feel under dressed with sweaty dusty clothes on. One of the four cousin owners came over to us asked us about our tastes then brought over his selection and left us to it with the bottle on the table. Obviously they expect you not to take the piss, but you can drink what you like. When some bottles are less than $2 you're unlikely to leave empty handed. You find many S. Africans going on wine tours as cheap weekends away.  One of the main elements that has made this trip so special, has been meeting all the local people where we've been staying, in the bars and restaurants, even in the supermarket. People are really open and friendly, they are all really interested in what we're doing, where we've been and what we've seen. Everybody is always really eager to recommend their own favourite places. They are just so happy to have all the tourists here. I’m not sure there are many other countries that would be quite as welcoming.

How to burn through money as fast as you can

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30/06/10

Welcome to Africa, where nothing ever goes to plan. Our much boasted about and greatly anticipated 'luxury treat' in a resort courtesy of my mother's time share hasn't really been what we were expecting. The resort is stunning, set 70 km from the nearest other tumbleweed hamlet, in beautiful stark boulderous mountains (I know I’m abusing the English dictionary with the word 'boulderous', but humour me, it fits). The chalet is huge, an 8 bed cottage with 2 storey thatched lounge and a vast stone fireplace. We have 2 outside barbecues or 'braais', one of which is set in a little sandstone cave. There are strange ornate natural rock features with splashes of rich orange across them, towering in piles all around us, vast odd shaped rocks balancing on top of each other precariously as they have done for thousands of years. You feel completely isolated here to the world outside the resort, 35 km of dirt road between you and the nearest tarmac. So isolated in fact that I gave myself the heeby jeebies the other night and had to go round looking in all the rooms and under the beds to stop me from jumping at my own shadow. We don't have TV so the idea was to read, relax, and catch up on planning the next part of the trip.

Our isolation became really apparent when I fell ill in the middle of the second night. I’d had tunnel vision and the start of a migraine all that day, and I woke in real pain at about 1.00 am. Having also had a reoccurring problem in my left eye for about 3 months, I had gone to bed the night before vowing to finally get it checked out next time we went through town. When I woke in the night I thought I was going to throw up or my brain was going to implode. Double dosing painkillers didn't dent it and we were on our way out the door to start a 300 km drive to Cape Town when I realized the pain was bearable when standing up. We decided to stay there and try and ask the resort manager in the morning if there were any nearer clinics open on a Sunday. Next morning we drove 3 hours to Worcester Medi Clinic. Expecting to be told in polite terms that I was overreacting and to go home, and for Nick to then kill me because he would have missed the England Germany match as well as had to do a six hour round trip, I was stunned when they admitted me, put a drip in my arm and gave me blood tests. To cut a painful story short; 6 drip packs, 2 jabs, one blood test, 7 blood pressure and temperature tests, 2 different doctors and a $500 bill that made me cry, and I was allowed to go home the next day. I had suffered from a cluster migraine that keeps tripping one after another. It needs steroids to break the chain. While the treatment in the hospital was really good, I can't recommend South African health care to anyone. Apart from the expense, you get discharged feeling woozy and hospitalfied and then have to trail halfway round the city going to different branches of doctors and clinics paying for all the different parts of the treatment. All you pay the hospital for is the bed.

Nick had checked into a B+B outside the hospital gates so was fresh and ready for the return 3 hour journey. As well as the squeaking steering wheel, the drivers chair has started to move alarmingly around the car. We have driven up and down the dirt track more than planned. And to make matters worse, we had to go back down it the next day to go and stay in Cape Town for a night to watch Spain Portugal, the only match in the World Cup that we had tickets for.

We arrived in Cape Town to heavy grey skies and rain. This was to be our first night camping in our shiny new and very thin tent. Thinking ourselves cunning, we set the tent up on the covered concrete veranda outside the dining room door. This way we avoided the rain and got some of the heat of the busy dining room. It was noisy but we figured it'd have to get quieter around midnight when we got back from the game.

Going to the stadium in Cape Town made me a little sorry we had not gone to more games. The whole of the city centre is lit up with an incredible buzz from all the fans and huge array of street performers. There were old lady drumming teams, junior body poppers, people on stilts following marching bands, and a random guy wandering around in a 5 ft orange hat. Nearly everyone was waving a Spain or Portugal flag, couples often opting for one of each. You could hear every accent or language dressed up in the colours of the evenings match.

The coming together of some many different people from all over the globe to support whichever game and teams they have tickets for makes the World Cup a completely different experience to any you get at a local team match. People are there for a laugh, not just to throw abuse at the opposing team. Being in a stadium where 95% of the 3 tiers participate in Mexican wave, and every 5^th person has a vuvuzela is an onslaught of every sense. 
 

We managed to get back from the football and into the hostel within 30 minutes, which is pretty good going for leaving a stadium during the World Cup. We settled down in our dry and surprisingly warm tent. Within an hour there were 20 people watching the TV full blast, chatting across the garden, smoking cigarettes around us and playing noisy board games. When they quieted down the security guard stood next to our tent holding the door open to watch the TV, still on full vol. At 3.00 am we gave up and moved our tent to a damp grassy spot further away. At 6.45 I got up, giving up on the tent because of the cold. The moral of the story is; if it looks to good to be true, then it is, and the only warm dry spot in the garden is empty for a very good reason.

Point of interest... in all our discussions with people about S. Africa there was one reacurring concern that got voiced... security. We have tried always to be sensible and be on our guard while not being too afraid. The other day we squished all our belongings ou of sight and into the boot of the car and then left it for 3 hours in a carpark. It was only as we unpacked the car later that we realized the boot isn't on central locking and had been open the whole time. A week later we worked out that one of the doors of the car doesn't lock either and we'd had an unlocked car for a week. After the hospital farce we returned and couldn't find the door keys to the chalet. When I tried the door I found it open and the keys inside in a place we didn't leave them. Dread to think how many other occasions we may have been careless and not noticed it.